This morning my doorbell rang and I was downstairs. I ran up the stairs as fast as I could to answer the door, only to find a postal note. "Please pick up your package at your local Post Office after 8:30 A.M Saturday, May 1st". I knew exactly what it was, my stone order. I sat outside with Zoë and seen my post lady stop in front of the house across the street. This is routine as she reloads mail for the next street. In my birkenstocks, I ran as fast as I could down our steep drive way across the street. The post lady looked at me like I was crazy, lol. I smiled and asked if it wasn't too late for me to get this package, while I was extremely out of breath. The nice lady handed it to me :) Poor thing, she's probably scared of me now.
So, I've decided to share with you my addictions that I posted about a few postings ago. The ones I was to afraid to post. I've decided to be strong and over come these. I smoke. Camel Crush, about a pack a day. I never smoke in front of Zoë or in the house. I hate the smell of cigarette smoke and definitely do not want my house to smell like it. I hate them. I feel like they have taken over. I cannot even count the numerous times that I have quit and started again. the longest time being when I was pregnant, I quit automatically. I didn't even smoke again until Zoë was about 9 months old. So for about 19 months I didn't smoke. I can feel it now. Here lately real bad and I hate it. It's not fair to me, it's not fair to Zoë, my family, my health. Not too long ago my mom who is in RN and of course usually lectures me with love about how bad it is told me that she is so surprised that I smoke because of my outlook on the environment, nature, parenting, and stuff like that. I agree so much. Yoga, would I really want to come out of Yoga class when I start and light one up?!?!?! It doesn't even make sense. And the me that I picture in my head is a non-smoker, if that makes sense. For some reason when I come to conclusions to make changes in my life or to start new journeys, it is always easier for me if I schedule these things, lol. I spoke with a dear friend of mine about this, she is a smoker too. At the end of the conversation we both decided to quit smoking May 1st!!! At 11:59 I'm throwing away my ash tray, my cigarettes, and never looking back. I know I can do this. I know it will be hard. I'm only 28 but have smoked for a very long time. My other addiction, Mountain Dew. Now when I say that I mean a 12 pack a day. Have you ever read the calories on the back of a MD can? It's pretty scary. And as 30 approaches and being a mother the weight is definitely harder to lose then say when I was 20. I will slow down on this tomorrow. I say slow down because I have quit MD before for a short period of time. I know this story sounds crazy, it's only soda, but with all of the caffeine content in MD I get serious headaches when I go a long while without drinking one. My plan is to ween myself from it by starting with one in the morning, water, juice, and Sprite Zero (for my soda fix) and that's it. Until the headaches subside then bye bye old friend. Those are changes. New journeys will be yoga and working out. I know with all of these I will feel so much better and working out and Yoga will probably make it so much easier to quit smoking.
In brighter news, I took Zoë to the doctor yesterday for her yearly check up. The doc asked me if Zoë could count to 3, I said "Oh yeah, she can count to 20" She asked me if Zoë could say her ABC's up to D, "Well she knows the whole alphabet and the entire song :) " She asked me if Zoë knew any other songs with a kind of question on her face, "Yeah, she knows Itsy Bitsy Spider, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Old McDonald, B-I-N-G-O, and a few more" She asked me what else she knew as far as things like that went, "Well she knows all of the basic colors and shapes" Zoë is 3 and maybe and more than likely this is very common, but hey, I'm a proud mama. The doctor told me that Zoë is way above and beyond the average level at her age with these things. In face by quite a few years. Zoë even reads with me while I read to her. Mocking every word I say and following it with her finger!! I am so proud of her!!! Their is no feeling to describe the feeling of being so proud of your child. I love her so much!
Well, off to do laundry and other "fun" things! have a great night!!! xoxo
***Update*** I wanted to make a note to this blog. For anyone who might read this who smokes please do not take offense to this. I judge no one but myself. This is how I feel about this and how it affects my life.