Tuesday, July 27, 2010

As of Lately...

I haven't really blogged lately, I've missed it :) I have been checking in on all of my favorite blogs of course♥
I have been so busy I haven't had time for much, my living space is proof of that right now, lol. I've been trying to help my grandma a little more. She turned 86 this month. I think for her age she has been doing really well. Earlier this year she was in ICU due to an eruption of her intestines and definitely is better. No pain, nothing like that. But mentally, she hasn't been the same. It's sad. I even had to take her meds to my house in fear of her accidentally overdosing. She is so confused about everything and her meds seem to be something she focuses on. She definitely has them mixed up and they are very important for her health to take daily as prescribed. I now have to take her the correct pills in the morning and evening. I also clean her house, run her errands, do her yard work, laundry, etc... and spend a lot of time with her. These are all good things and I'm glad that I am able to do so, but it takes a lot of my time. I feel that in a way I am complaining and I feel guilty about that. At the same time I also feel really grateful. I love my grandma more than I could ever express and I am so fortunate that my daughter has a relationship and knows her great grandmother. That is something I never got to experience. I think maybe that I am just tired.... Being a single mother, which yes I understand that are plenty of single mothers out there, but ahhhh....I have to vent.... Being a single mother....no baby sitters, financially and mentally 100% me. I love my daughter to death, I can't even imagine my world without her, but....venting...
I wake up, go to my grandma's; clean, run errands, doctor appointments, (many, many, doctor appointments), yard work, cook and feed Zoë, mommy, mommy, mommy, lol, try to get things done that I need done (my errands, my house work, my yard work) play with Zoë, cook and feed Zoë again and again, bath Zoë, clean up after Zoë, lay Zoë down for bed.....Ah...now I can eat and take a bath...and possibly blog when I get a chance ;) Studio work, crap I have to wake up early and take my grandma to the doctor tomorrow, then it all starts again....
Like I said, I am grateful. I love my grandma, I love my daughter. I just feel a lack of energy and a little depressed right now. Luckily my grandma lives next door which makes things 100% more convenient. Also Zoë's dad is coming in from South Korea for a month, he is in the army. She hasn't seen him in a year, and well that situation is a whole other story, but.... those thoughts are stress in the back of my mind too. Ahhhhhhhh......

In other words I'm hoping for a little extra time here soon to get started on more jewelry. I really enjoy making jewelry. I have so many ideas and designs drawn up, just the time. Soon, soon my friends ;) I'm definitley not going to neglect the shop.

Okay, done venting, I better eat something..... {belly growls}
xoxo

2 comments:

  1. okay I sent a message but don't know where it went...so here it goes again. I said Hang in there girlie. I to am a single mother of two..teens...and that can be very challenging to say the least...and MY granmother lives in my house and I take care of her. She is in the begginning stages of Al'z...so I am the only one who drives, runs errands, doc appointments, medicine, house cleaner, meal cooker, ect for people. Also the only one who provides $$$ (DAMN DEADBEAT FATHERS!!!). I have to work 35-45 sometimes more...hours a week...so I know how hard it is, but I am glad that I am setting an example for my childfen of what FAMILY is...fell free to vent, share, anything..anytime via Etsy convo...xoxo..Delia

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  2. Delia, Thanks so much for your comment♥ Our stories sound very similar. Although, two teenagers.....I'd probably lose mmy mind right now :) But you are very right, you are setting a good example, we both are. Thanks for the support :) You just might receive a convo of me venting sometime, lol. I try not too but every once in awhile the venting demon comes out ;)

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