Friday, July 9, 2010

No Psychic Vampires Here Please...

I usually don't get too personal on my blogs. But I guess that is the best way to get the feel of person, of who they are...the good, the bad, and all of the in between. This will be actually my first very personal blog.
Since I have had Zoë my life has changed tremendously. By saying that I mean that in the best way. My eyes see the world differently and I think I've just grown up too. I feel like when I look in the mirror I know who I am and I'm proud, I'm happy in life, I'm happy with my life. I'm not that rebellious teenager anymore or the confused girl in her young twenties that I was years ago. I'm me, I'm comfortable in my own skin, I feel at peace. With this change I keep aiming for better things as well. And I try to keep changing for the better. Things to make my life as peaceful as possible and things to make a better life for both me and Zoë. Some of the changes that I have made have been hard ones but have ended up to show that I did truly make the right choice. One of my biggest flaws have always been trying so hard to make others happy. Most of the time I feel like I put my own feelings on the back burner to attend to others. I see this as a flaw but I also see this as I just care about people. I'm a super sensitive gal ;) I care about peoples feelings, I'm an animal lover, and a TRUE tree hugger :) So sometimes when it comes to making choices about the people in my life that effect it negatively, I have a hard time choosing the right road to take. Honestly, it isn't a choice that has to be made often or hardly ever. Most of the people in my life I love and can't imagine life without them. The past few months though I have been struggling with my feelings about a friend that I felt was definitely effecting my life negatively. Negatively in many ways. In ways were instead of talking to a friend and being happy I would get off of the phone with her and feel sad, be upset. I would have a perfectly great day, talk to my friend and feel pain. I would feel pain because all of the drama in her life, too much negativity, and knowing that we are OH SO different, so very, very, different. We have grown apart so much and she would never see this because she didn't know me anymore, she didn't know my life, she only knew to talk about her life and all of the craze in it. It made me feel unbalanced and sad. I had to question myself about friendships during all of this...what they really mean to me...I had to question myself....Am I to harsh or am I letting this person make me unhappy? Am I the one at fault? Am I being too kind and keeping her as friend to not hurt someones feelings or am I being naive and keeping her as a friend to hurt my feelings? This past week I made my decision. I moved on in the kindest way that I could think possible. It was a hard decision on my part, we have been friends for 10 years. But for the past 9 months I have been emotionally drained by her. I woke up today not sad but relieved, like I have came to a fork in the road and took the right path. My heart is filled with laughter and love again, no aching feelings in the back of my mind about how to handle an uncomfortable situation.
I know that I'm not perfect, but I know who I am, I know who I love, I know what makes me happy, I know the bad things I need to remove myself from, I know change is a good thing. Ahhhhhh..... my favorite word....PEACE♥

A quote from my favorite musician. A quote that through growing from a teenager to a now gal in her late twenties has used to brighten her path...
"When life is hard you have to Change"

In other news...etsy news of course :))))) I am currently working on new pieces for the shop. I hope to have a shop update later next week. Possibly a few small updates in between.

I wish everyone who has any sized portion of worry or sorrow on their plate complete happiness and peace. Life is short, things can change in the blink of an eye.... Cherish those close to your hearts, intoxicate yourselves in laughter and love, roll around in the grass (If you're not allergic, of course) and stare up into the possibilities. We are so amazingly lucky to live and learn to make our choices for ourselves. We are so lucky to provide love to others. We re so lucky to learn from our mistakes and move on.

xoxo
Heather

5 comments:

  1. A very thought-provoking post...bravo!

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  2. Hey Lady! You know, I had the same decision to make a few years back. I realized I had been staying friends with this person simply because I felt like I "had to" because we'd been friends our whole lives. You describe it very well... she definitely was a "drain" on my life, mood, attitude, energy.... I felt like thousands of pounds were lifted off my shoulders when I made the decision to omit her from my life. Good for you for making that decision!

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  3. Kacie!!!!!! I know, I hate decisions like that. I knew that I had to step up though or it would just continue and snowball. And thanks!!! It sounds like we both did the right thing :)

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